An' Arkansas Christmas
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AND ALL THROUGH THE SHACK,
NOT A DARN THING WAS A MOVIN', FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK.
THE KIDS WERE IN BED, WE HAD NINE AT THE TIME,
THE WIFE IN HER CURLERS, WES LOOKIN' REAL FINE.
A COLD WIND WAS BLOWIN' UP THE HOLLER IT MOANED,
THEM DOGS ON THE PORCH ALL HOWLED AND GROANED.
THE BOYS ERE ALL DREAMIN' OF WEAPONS AND GUNS,
FOR KIllIN' GOD; CREATURES,..... THERE'S NO BETTER FUN!
THE GIRLS IN THEIR FEMININE DREAMS WERE ATTUNED,
TO GETTING THOSE FALLON'S OF WAL-MAT PERFUME.
THE WIFE WANTED JEWELRY, LIKE RINGS WITH BIG ROCKS.
I JUST WANTED MY CHEVY DOWN OFF OF THEM BLOCKS.
THEM OUT IN THE YARD, SUCH A NOISE DID COMMENCE,
LIKE SOMETHING WAS CAUGHT IN OUR NEW BOB-WAR FENCE.
I RAN TO THE WINDOW, AND SAW PRETTY QUICK,
THE MAN MAKIN' THAT RACKET, WAS GOOD OL' ST. NICK.
YOU MAY THINK OF SANTA IN YOUR OWN MIND'S EYE,
DRESSED IN A RED AN WHITE SUIT, BUT I'VE GOT A SURPRISE,
THAT OLD BOY'S AN ARKIE, FROM UP NEAR MT. GAYLOR,
HE MARRIED HIS COUSIN, AND THEY LIVE IN A TRAILER.
ON CHRISTMAS, OF COURSE, A SLEIGH FOR HIS RIG,
HE HOOKS THE THING UP TO A RAZORBACK PIG!
HE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF, WITH HIS BAG FULL OF GOODIES,
HE BACKED DOWN THE FIREPLACE, ALL DIRTY AND SOOTY.
FAT LEGS IN HIS BRITCHES, CHUBBY HAND IN HIS MITTENS,
I MUST ADMIT FROM THE BACK, HE LOOKED LOTS LIKE BILL CLINTON.
HE TURNED TOWARD THE TREE, HIS EYES ALL AGLOW,
HE WAS AN ARKANSAS BOY FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOE.
HIS NECK WAS A RED ONE, HIS SHIRT SAID "LITE BEER",
HE HAD NO RED HAT ON, BUT HIS CAP READ "JOHN DEERE"
HE LEFT ALL THE PRESENTS, WITH AN AIR OF DELIGHT,
THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE CHIMNEY, AN INTO THE NIGHT.
HE RAN INTO THE YARD, THREW HIS BAG IN THE SLEIGH,
THEM HE YELLED AT THE DOGS, "GET THE HECK OUT TH'WAY!"
I RAN OUT TO ASK HIM WHY HE BROUGHT SUCH GOOD CHEER;
BUT INSTEAD HE JUST ASKED ME. "YOU GET YOU A DEER?"
THEN I HEARD HIM EXLAIM, AS THOSE PIGS TOOK FLIGHT,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.......I NEED A BUD LIGHT!"
Now some of my family are Arkie's so once in a while I do need to make fun of my family. That's ok they make fun of me being from Utah.
NOT A DARN THING WAS A MOVIN', FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK.
THE KIDS WERE IN BED, WE HAD NINE AT THE TIME,
THE WIFE IN HER CURLERS, WES LOOKIN' REAL FINE.
A COLD WIND WAS BLOWIN' UP THE HOLLER IT MOANED,
THEM DOGS ON THE PORCH ALL HOWLED AND GROANED.
THE BOYS ERE ALL DREAMIN' OF WEAPONS AND GUNS,
FOR KIllIN' GOD; CREATURES,..... THERE'S NO BETTER FUN!
THE GIRLS IN THEIR FEMININE DREAMS WERE ATTUNED,
TO GETTING THOSE FALLON'S OF WAL-MAT PERFUME.
THE WIFE WANTED JEWELRY, LIKE RINGS WITH BIG ROCKS.
I JUST WANTED MY CHEVY DOWN OFF OF THEM BLOCKS.
THEM OUT IN THE YARD, SUCH A NOISE DID COMMENCE,
LIKE SOMETHING WAS CAUGHT IN OUR NEW BOB-WAR FENCE.
I RAN TO THE WINDOW, AND SAW PRETTY QUICK,
THE MAN MAKIN' THAT RACKET, WAS GOOD OL' ST. NICK.
YOU MAY THINK OF SANTA IN YOUR OWN MIND'S EYE,
DRESSED IN A RED AN WHITE SUIT, BUT I'VE GOT A SURPRISE,
THAT OLD BOY'S AN ARKIE, FROM UP NEAR MT. GAYLOR,
HE MARRIED HIS COUSIN, AND THEY LIVE IN A TRAILER.
ON CHRISTMAS, OF COURSE, A SLEIGH FOR HIS RIG,
HE HOOKS THE THING UP TO A RAZORBACK PIG!
HE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF, WITH HIS BAG FULL OF GOODIES,
HE BACKED DOWN THE FIREPLACE, ALL DIRTY AND SOOTY.
FAT LEGS IN HIS BRITCHES, CHUBBY HAND IN HIS MITTENS,
I MUST ADMIT FROM THE BACK, HE LOOKED LOTS LIKE BILL CLINTON.
HE TURNED TOWARD THE TREE, HIS EYES ALL AGLOW,
HE WAS AN ARKANSAS BOY FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOE.
HIS NECK WAS A RED ONE, HIS SHIRT SAID "LITE BEER",
HE HAD NO RED HAT ON, BUT HIS CAP READ "JOHN DEERE"
HE LEFT ALL THE PRESENTS, WITH AN AIR OF DELIGHT,
THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE CHIMNEY, AN INTO THE NIGHT.
HE RAN INTO THE YARD, THREW HIS BAG IN THE SLEIGH,
THEM HE YELLED AT THE DOGS, "GET THE HECK OUT TH'WAY!"
I RAN OUT TO ASK HIM WHY HE BROUGHT SUCH GOOD CHEER;
BUT INSTEAD HE JUST ASKED ME. "YOU GET YOU A DEER?"
THEN I HEARD HIM EXLAIM, AS THOSE PIGS TOOK FLIGHT,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.......I NEED A BUD LIGHT!"
Now some of my family are Arkie's so once in a while I do need to make fun of my family. That's ok they make fun of me being from Utah.
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