A blast from the past.

1001 ways to be more ROMANTIC! My mom have had this book for years, and years. I think she got it hoping that my dad would stop "putting out her fire". Yep, she got the book. Last night I was flipping through this book and low and behold it has a section for singles. It was so ridiculously funny that I had to share on the blog.

Do you remember when you were in grade school and you wrote little notes to that cute boy or girl that went something like this?

Do you like me? Circle yes or no.
What is your favorite color?
What are you going to do at recesses?

Well I have found something like that in this book that got me laughing. Check this out.

~Need a clever ice-breaker? Try creating you own, personalized personality quiz to hand-out to potential date. Here's a sample.

• Men........

a)........make life worth living.
b)........have their faults, but they are easier to train than dogs. (what? sense when, I have brothers. Dogs are easier to train)
c)........are only good for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
d)........should be shot on sight, no question asked

• The best film in history is....

a)........Citizen Kane
b)........Gone With the Wind
c).........It's A Wonderful Life
d)........The Wizard of OZ
e).........I was a Teenage Werewolf
f)..........Other

• The Perfect man resembles.........

a)........Albert Einstein, but is a better dancer.
b)........Arnold Schwarzenegger, with better diction.
c).........Cary Grant, but not dead
d).........Donald Trump, but with fewer tabloid headlines.
e).........Danny DeVito, except shorter and fatter.

Directions:


Your answers to the questions will reveal an elaborate psychological profile of yourself. We already know you're unbalanced enough to voluntarily hang out with me, so we're just trying to help your before it's too late. There are no right answers, which should horrify the perfectionists and thrill the delinquents among you. Drinking during the quiz is strictly encouraged. So just circle what fits you.

Yeah I know this is just wrong, we are not in grade school any longer. On top of that, this quiz just encourages singles to put themselves down with the phrase:

"We already know you're unbalanced enough to voluntarily hang out with me, so we're just trying to help your before it's too late."

Singles, please don't say anything like that. It's just not exactly a good phrase to tell your date, or anyone else at all. In fact, don't even put anyone through this quiz. It is laughable that this is a grown up version of the notes that went around in grade school.

Cheers Everyone!

Hints come what may!

I keep getting strange hints from my choir director. Ever since she just happen to hear me sing she has made it her life mission to get me to join the choir. This is her latest attempt. She wrote me a note.

CD: "Hollie 11:00 A.M really isn't that early! Come join us.......pleas!"

What I wrote on her FB wall:

Me: " For some reason you keep hinting something at me. But I can't figure it out what it is. I should tell you that I sang to my plant and it got infested with bugs. The bugs killed my plant. So what would my singing do the congregation?"

I can just see it now. I start singing one Sunday and that day will end up as "SciFi meets LDS meetings." The congregation will get infested with bugs. It will be like "The Fly" allover again.

Her FB reply: "I have herd you sing! So get over it and come to choir." :)

It cracked me up, it made my morning.

So to my wards choir director. Thank so much for making my morning.

Cheers Everyone!!!

You know when you are a musician when...................

Ok first off I am an musician. I can play 4 different instruments, sing, and I am proud of it. It did made me to have the label of "music junkie," but that's ok by me. I have read so many; you know you are a _________ when........ So I have decided to lest my own, about being a musician. The reason on how to find out if you are a music junkie.

You know you are a musician when.................

You throw up during American Idol
You cant bear to watch America got Talent
You hate going on vacation because you half to leave your violin, or other instruments. So you take your substitute (ie Ipod,electric violin, keyboard etc)
You listen to the radio and scream HOW DID YOU GET ON?
You analyze music for fun/or it just comes naturally
You find music in every noise
You sing or hum in the shower
You find reasons to *practice* singing or your instrument instead of going on a date
You wounder if the person you are dating is tone def
When the dog is barking you can name the note
You end up composing your own arrangement of songs because you think (oh sorry) KNOW you can do better.
During the movie "Master and Commander, the far Side of the World" You watch the Violin and Cello duet over and over again.
You name your children after classic composers
You hug your instruments when you leave them
You have a bust of Beethoven, Mozart, Paganini, and etc
You have more then one metronome
You have sheet music to fill 3 filing cabinets
You cry when someone else touches your instrument
You have a heart attack when someone touches your instrument's (that is me!)
You hide photos of instruments, if people saw these you are afraid they will think you a freak
Your knees go weak when you see a Stradivarius
After you find out how a Stradivarius is made. You make your life mission to get that driest wood available, only so you can make a violin that sounds just like a Stradivarius.
You learn how to make a violin
You learn how to tune a piano
You tell yourself *Make a Joyful noise it is a prayer unto God*
You stand their perplex when the best singers on American Idol get voted off
You want to throw up when "artist's" give their own interpretation's on show tunes. BLAH!
You relive the time when you sing and played with the 63rd army band (oh yeah that does happen)

Ok I will stop. But you have most likely figured out that I can list more, but that will just solidify the title of music junkie. I hope you have had fun reading this list. And if you can check more then 10 reason's then you are a music junkie as well.

Check it out

You may have seen this but; I have never have before this morning.

This is worth looking at.


This is called the ultimate wedding dance.


Cheers Everyone!!!

Philological discussions

Get this the Jack who is the second councilor to my bishop told me:

Jack: "I'm going to come over one of these days, so I can hear your family's philological discussions."

Me: "When you do come over we will discuss the history of shoelaces, maybe it will be pond scum. We haven't had any of these 'discussions' after we have heard that you want to hear our strange 'discussions'."

I didn't think that we are that interesting. All this time I thought that my family and I are boring. Who knew!!!

Cheers Everyone!!

The great Popsicle debate

My nephews Daniel and Andrew are trying to convince me that having a Popsicle will make them settle down. This is how it went.

Andrew:"After you feed Nathan, will you give us a Popsicle?"(Nathan is Daniel's and Andrew's baby brother).

Me:"You too are running around and screaming enough. Do you think that having a Popsicle will make you settle down?"

Both:"Yeah!"

Of course that will be their answer. I wasn't expecting anything less. I know they don't have a very strong case. But between too brothers who are 4 & 3 that is the best defense they can come up with.

I'll give in and give them one.

Cheers Everyone!

Label: Freakish toothbrusher

Monday night a friend of mine and I were talking, we were at her in-laws and she called me a "Freakish toothbrusher." It took me a little bit to figure out what she meant. Mostly because I was on a sugar shock, so my mind was............................out there a little bit.

So I stared laughing at that label. I thought that it was hilarious, (I think mostly I was laughing because of the sugar shock, and all I had was one Cream Soda! I promise.). She looked at me with wide eyes that was all mirth, and said:

My friend: "You are! You brush your teeth every time after you eat! You are a freakish toothbrusher!"
Me: "I know, I jest had something to eat and my tongue keeps feeling my teeth! Years ago My dad got smart, he bought me an electric tooth brush, so I would stop brushing my teeth so hard! It works I don't brush as hard!"

To all of you reading this blog. I'm so sorry but all this time you have been reading the thoughts of a "Freakish toothbrusher."

Cheers Everyone!

Sunday the day of confrontations.

Ok the choir director in my ward confronted me, this is how our conversation went.

C.D: "Hollie what do I need to do to get you to come to choir? If I need to tap dance on your door steep, I'll do what I ever it takes. "

Me: "Hmmmm a pregnant woman tap dancing on my door step? No I would feel so bad if you did that." ( can you imagine the mental picture I got? I felt bad, just thinking about that.)

C.D "What do I need to do. Choir starts at 11:00 A.M! How much later does to need to be?"

Me: "Well I have developed this habit. My time is from about 11:00 P.M to about 3:00 A.M. That is when I'll read, watch movies, things like that. So I don't wake up until 11:00."

C.D: (all the while laughing) "that's fine if I need to wait until church next year is at 9:00 A.M and choir will be after church. I'll do that! What ever it takes. "

One hour later my bishop and his second councilor found me in the hall way. Now you know it is bad when the bishop corners you. But when you do see not only your bishop, but one of his councilor's walking to corner you with the same expression on their faces; your life flashes before your eyes looking for some grievous sin that you have not repent of yet. I couldn't think of anything, so I was dead nervous that I had forgotten something.

They both asked me if I would speak in church. I about laughed out loud hysterically, just out of pure relief . This is how the conversation with the three of us went:

B:" We would like you to talk in sacrament on a topic that I know that you will be very good at."

Me: " Oh you mean on how to be bossy?"
(they both laughed)

SC: "You would love that wouldn't you?"

B: "No, but I'm sure you would be good at that. The topic is 'Being good to your fellowmen and Charity', the two are connected." ( yet they are. Read the article by Elder Marvin J. Ashton. "The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword.")

Me: "yes they are."

SC: "She is good, she got it faster then I got it. I had to think about it."

Me: "I gave a lesson on this topic in Relief Society while I was attending the singles ward."

B: "Yes he did had to think about it. I knew she would be good for this. Now all you need to do is take out your notes, and you have it all done."

Me: "No I don't have my notes any longer. When I moved I had to throw things away. It's called cleaning things out."

There is more to the conversation but I won't tell it. But the moral to this story is...........Don't throw out your old lesson's or talks. You might need them one day. My problem is that I'm not a exactly a pack rat. Or become inactive? Nah, I'll stay active. Will I still do the talk? I don't know, I can still say no.

Cheers everyone!!

Stupid printer!

You know sometimes I think that technology is the biggest oxymoron in the world. It is here to make our lives easier/better and the dang thing's stop working in the most inopportune times. What's up with that?





Cheers everyone!!

My little bit of happiness

Today I had finely found jeans that are in my size. I found them at Costco. I have been looking for 5 months. No Joke! I was floored. I could almost never find anything in my size.

I'll tell you this it is so good to find pants that won't fall off my back side. They fit yeah!!
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This morning I went to see brother Seth in his unit formation, before he goes to Afghanistan. At times it was hard to keep the tears back. But I did. They said a prayer. Within this prayer it asked for blessings to keep the solders safe and be successful in their mission. Some of these solders look so young.

Good luck Seth we are praying for you.

A diffrent breed of animal

After chatting with some people on one of my social networks about what would little boys would do. The stories I got. Here is a few they told me, but most came from my own family:

• back flips off of a stage
• riding a skateboard down Devils Hill
• balancing chairs on their heads
• French braiding their leg hairs
• Tired to kick a glass door open, missed and foot went into glass
• Keep boots on while taking a bath
• Made an make shaft snow chair in the front yard
• Wrecked the mission presidents car
• Tried to make Root Beer in a bath tub
• Stuffed himself in a suitcase and friends at the MTC zipped him in.
  
• Eat Rattle Snake- I hear is taste jest like chicken!
• My brothers companion had play dough, made horns and sucked them to his head.
  

Some of the men replied saying:

"They wonder how they survived, with so many broken bones."

My conclusion my nephews are typical boy's. I hope they can survive being a boy. Like countless of others have.

Nephews

Wow it was my mom's birthday when I last posted.

Over this weekend my nephews were over. They are sooooooooooooo boy! I mean only boys would put there foot on there plates, inside cups, and things like that.

What is up with that?!?

We also had a Veggie Tales fest. I have the theme song memorize. My brother have it memorize also. So you know what it sad? My brother (Jeremy) and I would harmonize the theme song.

Yeah I know.

I hope you had a great weekend!

"My husband keeps telling me to go to the devil!"

The title of this post is a line in the RS. Now why did I put it up? Well the woman who is saying that line is the bishops wife. He is in it also (of course), looking all mean and wagging his finger at her. He looks absolutely ridiculous while doing that. I love it!

It will work. It needs to work.

Who did it??

Who did it???

It was Rick at the Loch Ness church house with the camera, on the chair!





If you can look close I'm laughing. My back is completely arched. That was a fun photo shoot.

Painting our nails/ Pi Day

Today while I was watching my nephew Daniel I got my nail polish out and painted my toe nails. Not the same as the real pedicure I know but it will do. So my nephew Daniel wanted to have his finger nails to glow-in-the-dark. So I got my glow-in-the-dark nail polish and he painted his nails.

He also brought over his Lego Indiana Jones game. He was showing me how to die properly. He said:

"Look see this is how you die."

Yep he got a kick out of that! So he was showing me how to play the game. I would have the game for like 2 min. then he would take it away and start playing then he would say:

"Look see this is how you play! You need to jump hear, you need to use this guy so he can crawl. Press the "A" button and you can build things!"

It was fun this afternoon. My nephews are fun. Yes even the one with autism. What gets Jeremy is that people in the ward will ask him if his son has autism, then when the find out that he is autistic the response is:

"Really? He doesn't look like he has autism."

I have no clue what he is "suppose" to look like, but I think that he looks like my Grandpa Robb.

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Ok now tell me what you think about this. Go to Scothoser's Corner It talks about how the House of Representatives voted March 14 to be National Pi Day. Of all the things to vote on. Go figure. Oh well that is jest one excuse to eat a pie. Think about this you can have a Pie-eating-contest to celebrate the day, or do a math problem that has Pi in it. You choose. But as for me I think that I would like the Pie.

I know our government needs some major help. Of all the things to vote on. Could they come up with a very good plan to fix our nation?

Clever Anagrams

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S (that one hit home to me. I am not a morning person)

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

IMPOSSIBLE
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M POSSIBLE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

My mother sent me this. In the email it said: "someone has too much time on their hands."
That is right!

Snowman are always good for a laugh

Check this out!!!

How do men know when women are interested???

I came upon an article called Study finds women are hard to read. Well I would say yes and no. I have to say I had a fun time reading this. This article address the issue of "what is women thinking- is she flirting or not or is she jest playing games?"

Marya Mannes believes this: "The art of flirtation is dying. A man and a woman are either in love these days or just friends. In the realm of love, reticence and sophistication go hand in hand, for one of the joys of life is discovery."

I think that she is wrong, but I do believe that flirtation is an art. I will say this, I doubt that he will read this, and if he does I doubt he will comment. Besides all comments will go to my email first. I once told my friend, (I'll call him Aussie jest for fun). Aussie that he needed to lesson to what I am thinking and not what I am saying. His response: How am I going do that? Was that flirting? Yes. I have also grabbed Aussies arm more then once. So was that flirting? Again yes! So for some reason I jest simply I like to give Aussie a little harder time then I will give my guy friends. Is that flirting? YES! Did he pick up on it? NO! Believe me I was praying and wishing that he would. So I simply decided that he wasn't interested.

Now I do admit that these are subtle hints. A lot of girls don't want to look desperate. I have known lots of situations where the "flirting" was unwelcome. For example: Lets call him Scott and her Libby.

Scott was standing jest out side a building. Libby started talking to Scott, and leaning towards him. Scott was leaning away from Libby. Libby was leaning so far toward Scott he almost fell over on to the ground. That my readers is one example of unwelcome flirting that Libby did not pick up on.

My dear readers I don't like to flirt is way. It looks desperate and down right bad. For me I like more subtle approach. Like the touching of the arm or shoulder, teasing, giving him a harder time then I give my guy friends, and maintaining a simple conversation. With me I don't play the games. I don't like to date people when I know a relationship will simply not work.

Now I would admit that not all girls like the subtle artistic flirtation approach. Like Libby, she likes the direct approach, that can look bad and will some of the time go wrong. Their are some that just want to play the games. Others just don't know how to flirt, or they feel self conscious flirting with men, they don't want to look like they are looking to get married. A lot of women feel that the man would simply walk away and the confidence will simply leave.

What I call games:

• When the person you like will sit behind/or be near you while that person is on a date, but will pay more attention to you then the "date".
• Will date more then one person at one time.
• Will go around the room and flirt with everyone in the room.
• Mixed signals.
• The "looks" as in they keep looking and smiling at you, but don't do anything but talk to other people.
  

"Despite our differences, men and women, (children too), crave the same things: Security and appreciation. You can almost always see the sweet eight-year-old in the face of any grown-up person." ~Author Unknown~

I hope you have fun reading this as I had fun composing it. In short, I think that people are the most fascinating creatures on this planet. In the time of Adam and Eve up until today people have not changed.

Funnie stories

Someone from one of my half a dozen social networks wanted stories that we can laugh at now. I had to think. I have tons of them. The one I have chosen is the one that I need to set up. Only Utahans well understand.

Utah is a desert. We are the second driest state in the country. So you must imagine that we are always concerned about water. This story takes place in 11 grade A.P U.S history.

Mr. Jones brings in a pine cone it was fairly big as Utah pine cones will get. Usually you can take a pine cone and it will fit in the palm of your hand that is how big they can get, sometimes bigger. Well this particular pin cone was bigger then his (M.r. Jones) hand. He holds it up in the beginning of class and sad:

Mr. Jones: See this pine cone? This means that we will get lots of water this year!"
Me: snort sound
Mr. Jones: ROBB!!!
Me: I can just see it now we will be telling our grand kids, "When I was your age, I had to use a boat and row up stream, fighting off brine shrimp all the way to school! 20 miles"
Class: laugh, snicker
Mr. Jones: laugh
Mr. Jones: ROBB!! YOU MOCK MY WORDS!!!
Me: To late just did. We live in a desert, the most will happen is that the Great Salt Lake will rise to fairly normal levels. And the brine shrimp will breed even more, and no one knows what their purpose are or what they eat! Except to make more brine shrimp!

Well that was my funny story.

What did you do???

I got this from one of the half a dozen social net works that I'm apart of. It's just for fun!

I ran over a smurf in line at the bank because Big Bird said to and he's my leader..

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that Black---------because that's
how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader..
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made, in the subject line and forward to
your friends.
Don't forget to send it back to the person that sent it to you!
I can't wait to see what you get stuck with....