Like it or Lump it.

Now feed back comes from people in the ward about the rad show script They are confused? What????

Okay I know that you cant please everyone. But you know there are those people who think that they can always do it better then you. The "make it better" suggestions. After painstakingly writing a 15 min. script for two and a half weeks, and making it simple.

Come one people it is a road show. It is suppose to be cheesy! This is not a grand scale show like an Andrew Loyd Weber, or Rogers and Hammerstein musical.

It is a road show for crying out loud! Most people in road shows have never acted before. Of course we have all have played make believe at one time or a another but for the most of us that is the extent of our acting skills. It will be cheesy, it will be played up. I will say that it has been approved by the bishop.

Q&A:
Q: How many directors/actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1- with 99 others saying "I could have done that better."

This must be added:

"I'm sorry that you can't understand the script. Mother and I are used to writing scripts for special needs"

King Authur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests , the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur .

He said: "nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation! of the Round Table."

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch
during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you read on down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down

The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly

I got this from a friend. I thought that it was fun, jest in time for Valentines Day

What did you do???

I got this from one of the half a dozen social net works that I'm apart of. It's just for fun!

I ran over a smurf in line at the bank because Big Bird said to and he's my leader..

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that Black---------because that's
how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader..
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made, in the subject line and forward to
your friends.
Don't forget to send it back to the person that sent it to you!
I can't wait to see what you get stuck with....

Just Enjoy!

Rick sent this to me. Sometimes I don't know what is going on in that mans head.

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards... They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully. The book appeared and in it was found the following passage: "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."


Customer: Is this tea or coffee?
Waitress: What does it taste like?
Customer: Turpentine.
Waitress: Then it's coffee. The tea tastes like kerosene.




Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?


A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital
who was "all torn up."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake.
It has yellow and black stripes, and likes to
sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle.
You catch it by grabbing the tip of it's tail with
one hand and quickly running your other hand
up the length of it's body so you can grab it
behind the neck."

"Go on," the friend urged.

"Well, I stealthily sneaked up to the tail laying
across the jungle path, grabbed it by the end
and rapidly moved my other hand upward ...
just as the procedure goes."

"So why are you so banged up?" the friend asked.

"Have you ever goosed a tiger?"




Every young girl looks forward to the bride side of life.


It was a full auditorium. Halfway through the author's talk,
she began to feel sick. In a calm voice, she announced that
she had left a few pages of her speech offstage, in her bag.

She walked off slowly and, as soon as she was out of sight,
ran to the bathroom where she immediately threw up.

She was just about finished when someone came into the bath-
room to tell her that her label mike was still on.




A man called the government office where I work and requested an estimate of his benefits upon retirement.
After I gave him the information, he went on to inquire about his wife's benefits. I asked if she had ever worked.
"She has worked all her life making me happy," he replied.
That was nice, I commented, but had she ever contributed to a pension plan?
"No," he said. "We made an agreement when we got married. I would make the living and she would make the living worthwhile."


After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast!



My mother says she never holds grudges, but then will
blindside you with something that happened years ago.
Last week she said, "You know, you really hurt me on
your birthday."

And I was like, "Which birthday was that?"

So she replied, "The first one.
You have a really big head you know."



A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103.

When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great
grandchildren, 25 great-great grand children, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.




~~~Thought For The Day~~~




A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs----jolted by every pebble in the road.


Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Scattergories

SCATTERGORIES
Rules: IT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS! HIT FORWARD,( copy and paste) ERASE MY ANSWERS, ENTER YOURS, SEND IT ON TO 10 PEOPLE INCLUDING THE ONE THAT SENT THIS TO YOU. USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES,THINGS.NOTHING MADE UP! TRY TO USE DIFFERENT ANSWERS IF THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU HAD THE SAME 1ST INITIAL. YOU CAN'T USE YOUR NAME FOR THE BOY/GIRL NAME QUESTION.


Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Hollie
2. A 4 Letter Word: Home

3. A Boy ' s Name: Hans
4. A Girl ' s Name: Heidi
5. An Occupation: Herder of sheep
6. A Color: Hyacinthe blue (its a color!)
7. Something you wear: hat
8. A Beverage: hot cocoa
9. A Food: hot peppers
10. Something found in the bathroom: hot stem (keep it clean!)
11. A place: Hawaii
12. A Reason for being late: Hot date, out late!
13. Something you shout: Hey You There!!!

The hardest part is finding 10 people that will play with you!!!...............Live life to the fullest and enjoy the time spent with love ones!!!!!

The Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.

"Where in tarnation have you been all night?"

"At this fantastic new bar," he says.
"The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor , the works!"heck, even the urinal's gold!"

The wife still doesn't believe his story and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she ask

when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes it is," the bartender answers

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Sure do ."

"Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling,

"Hey , Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!"

Julie Andrews on her 69th birthday

If you google this you will find this on so many blogs and joke pages. So I don't know why I have it on mine. Hmmmm oh well.

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist,
Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City
Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.

One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things"
from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music."

Here are the lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted
over four minutes and repeated encores.)