Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Love/Hate Summer/grown ups

So I came across one moms perspective on how she hate's summer with her autistic son, called:

~10 reasons why autism and summer clash

I can totally relate on all accounts but two. 1), I am a little sister who has an older bother with Asperger/High Functioning Autism. Yes, they pretty much mean the same thing.  You see Asperger is High Functioning Autism.  

No, there is no cure. No, the shots didn't cause him to be on the Autism Spectrum. And No, the Shots didn't cause this! No. it didn't, so don't ague with me on this!

10 Reasons why Autism/Asperger and Adult hood clash:

  1. Yes, he takes showers, just about every day. Sometimes twice a day. Sometimes he'll go without taking a shower for 2 days. Yes, we do remind him to take a shower, brush his teeth, brush his hair, and etc. He just wont think of such trivial things. 
  2. Yes, he is smart. I mean Very smart. He was talking to a neurologist about the brain. What each part does, why it does what it does. How it works, why it works and yeah, everything. The neurologist, dropped his jaw and said "He has as much knowledge about this as I do. He could have my job!" While he was in 3rd grade his teacher could have let my brother take over teaching the class. Yeah, he is THAT stinking smart!  
  3. He is alone, almost all of the time. In so many ways he connects with the Young men. Ages 12-18. His social level is at 7(?), sometimes it is as 12-18. He has melt downs just like other people with Autism and Asperger. In some ways, he is like a child, a 7 year old child. So other people have a hard time connecting to him. Heck, so do we, his own family! He loves his sweets. He'll stay on his computer for hours learning about different things. Right now it is cake decorating. Way cool that he is learning, but hate it that he is alone. 
  4.   Tries to "go with the flow", but really likes his routine, structure, things must be the same. While during Thanksgiving, I'll be just as Thankful with a BLT, he on the other hand, needs to have the full Turkey dinner. And the Turkey left overs just keep coming back, like some bad nightmare! You see, 11 years ago the family lost everything. Jobs, house, friends, everything. He tried to keep his cool, but no, things propped up and we are still dealing with the after math.  That is because he hates change, I mean really hates change. He had tried to deal with it but had a very hard time in doing so.
  5.  He needs to know everything you are doing. Like everything! Your day, if you are cutting back roses, or mowing the lawn, making brownies, cake, or simply what the heck you are making for dinner. What is it?!? Yes, he needs to know, and he'll hover for ever. And yes, it drives me nuts. 
  6. He only plans for the here and now, not the future, not even 3 hours from now. It is the "here and now." That is ok, for the most part. but he needs to be reminded to do things and that things are coming up in the future. See number 4.
  7. You see while he'll eat just about everything, now he decides that he can ONLY eat some foods and not others. Why? See number 4.
  8. His mind keeps him wanting to learn more. See number 2. That is way cool, that he wants to keep learning more, but it exhausts him, to the point that he needs to have a nap during the day, sometime more times during the day. That is because both his right side and his left side of  his brain doesn't communicate to each other very well, so he becomes mentally exhausted, so he takes naps.   
  9. He is very trusting. That can be a good thing. The problem is that he really trust everyone else and not his family. He will to a point.We can say things that are true and he will believe us about whatever truth we are saying. Other times his mind is SO made up that no matter what we'll tell him, it won't do any good what-so-ever. 
  10. He has learned to be every creative in just about everything he will do. It is fascinating to see what he can come up with, but still he need to follow the written directions. Because remember number 4?
  11. He'll say things and does things that will hurt people emotionally, he doesn't mean it, and it is usually not his intention....because you know see number 3. I love to see him socialize, but cringe every time he does. I don't know if that person will become offended or not, or just be shocked. Usually I just think.....Pass the popcorn! We're having a party! And just set back and watch the reactions of people. Pass the popcorn, it can be fun!?!    
 What I have learned with working and living with special needs
  • They can show pure love. They don't care what you look like, or what you are wearing. They are just happy to know that you are their, and safe. 
  •  They can teach you patience and how to love in the purest of forms.
  •  He finds beauty in ugly things, like snakes, lizards, Alligators, weird painting's and sculptures.  You name it he'll find it. I have learned to do the same because of him and others who I have worked with. 
  • He'll mix his food as he sees fit, because remember number 4? Yeah. I know, but that is just how it is. This is Special Needs, welcome to it.  
  • Living with Special Needs and work with Special Needs are two different things. Very Different Things
  • No, two people who are on the Autism Spectrum are the same. No, they are not, don't even try to argue, no, just no. They are different. You can't put people with Autism or Asperger's in one box, you can't even put them in 100 different box's. You might in a 1,000 different box's, but that is being generous. 
  • I have also learned that while working with special needs, the ones who are on the Autistic Spectrum, it is Normal, yes normal for them to have some type of Psychosis. And you thought that I was kidding about the box's? HAHAHAHAH! Not even! The best to prevent/help this is Psychotherapy or Counseling very early on,  depending on the person, and what is gong on. Sometimes they need both. Don't believe me? The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon Cooper, that should explain it all. Or how about Sherlock Holmes? Know the signs, of Psychosis. Look it up, check out books, whatever you need to do to educate yourself.

Cheers!!