The Real Story!!!

A DOG'S DIARY:

7 am - Oh boy! A morning walk with Daddy! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food with breakfast scraps! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride with Mommy! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

5 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Daddy! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball with Daddy! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Dog food and table scraps! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs from Daddy on the couch! My favorite!

10 pm - Oh boy! A moon light walk with Daddy! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping with my Mommy and Daddy
in the Big Bed! My favorite!

A CAT'S DIARY:

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me
with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this
at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However,
I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important,
I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of
inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to
be an informant and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.