Young Single Adults & Dating

Yet again the subject of dating and YSA are back. I think that this will never go away, as much as we want it to.

I have been part of a online discussion on the question;

"Why are their so many YSA's?"

The answer varies from person to person. Coming from a females point of view, a lot of girls are freaked out, we keep hearing from the media *X* number of spouses are disappearing. I have found this article "He says She says" by Kimberly Webb. It is a good read.

Parents and family members are frustrated that their son/daughter are still single. Sadly I fall into that group, I'm just as frustrated. One parent was so frustrated that he has suggested that arrange marriage should make a come back. To be honest I am so freaked out about that. I could just see divorce numbers sky rocked.

One question was, why are so many YSA's ignoring prophetic council. What I have notice is that a lot of us think that we are *smarter* then God. As in: We are in control of our lives, we can do what we please, if we half to pay for it later, that will be later. I know that a lot of us YSA's will half to face God and tell him why we are not proactive in seeking for that eternal spouse, or not get married altogether.

When I was in Young Woman's, the lessons were “Because dating is a preparation for marriage, date only those who have high standards, who respect your standards, and in whose company you can maintain the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ” (For the Strength of Youth, p. 7).
This is all wonderful council, to the youth of the world, not just the church. This brings up a question of:

"Have we YSA's got so used to group dating/hanging out that we got into that habit?"

So problem is that YSA's are not being proactive in getting out their and dating, they are more incline to *hang out*. The problem with that is people don't know who they are with. In my former singles branch, the branch presidency was always freaked out that everyone in the branch was committing fornication, to my knowledge nobody was fornicating, as well as dating. They would constantly tell us to always be in a group, and get married. Yes, that is such a problem, Elder Dallin H. Oaks says this, in Dating versus Hanging Out

"Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent. Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.

If you do this, you should also hang up a sign, “Will open for individual dates,” or something like that. And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date. Part of making it easier is to avoid implying that a date is something very serious. If we are to persuade young men to ask for dates more frequently, we must establish a mutual expectation that to go on a date is not to imply a continuing commitment. Finally, young women, if you turn down a date, be kind. Otherwise you may crush a nervous and shy questioner and destroy him as a potential dater, and that could hurt some other sister."

Awesome council if you asked me. My young singles branch presidency, should have said something like that to us. I don't think that it is right for ether men or women to mooch off of each other, or to go on a date just because you have nothing to do that night. As singles we must be sensitive to each other. Don't date just because, date because you are interested. The way I see it if you date just to get out of the house, you might just pass up an opportunity with someone who is interested in you; that person might think that they will never be good enough.